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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Last night

Last night I remember sicking on the beach, telling people I loved them, not being afraid, drinking, lots of drinking, kissing someone I didn't mean to kiss, tangled up in the sand with them, helping up Sam after he hit his head on a tree and knocked himself down, making friends with the other drunks, hugging, lots of hugging, falling over and not being able to get up, crying, having her fix my make-up after it ran, walking along the barely lit streets, going to the school yard, meeting up with people on E, hugging them, offering them my drink, falling off the seat sideways, walking through an empty parking lot somewhere, being utterly confused when there was another tongue in my mouth, not understanding, not being able to see, taking something out of my shirt, peeing on a tree, trying to swim, falling on the beach, asking those people for cigarettes, telling them I loved them as we walked off, smoking, lots of smoking, feeling sick, feeling frozen to the bone, acquiring a third jumper, ...finding another world. 
Last night I remember bits and pieces. 
I don't remember calling everyone in my phone contacts, picking up to my father, telling him about the children running around when we were in an abandoned parking lot, going home, getting into bed, walking through the ravine, buying orange juice, thinking.

I don't remember getting bruises everywhere. 
I don't remember having Sam written on my hand.
I don't remember huge gaps, and it freaks me out that they even happened. There's no logic.

But mostly
I remember finding another world, and I can't ignore it now. 


  1. Oh wow, very beautiful and extremely powerful post.
    I hope it's a nice world.

  2. It is. It's dark and comfortable and altogether hidden. :)