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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Fuck it

When you say "fuck everything", claiming to be independent, remember that in your words, independence is nothing if not solitude. It's pushing everyone else away, laughing at emotions and love. It's that moment when you're drunk on the curb, sat down because you can't stand anymore. When someone who cares about you tries to take you home, and you tell them just how much you care about them. They say, "You can't just hate everything. At some point, life will find you. You know, those people who are actually living? Feeling and smiling and shit?" They leave. You laugh. Say to the wind, "Life is for the living, you said that. I'm just waiting for death. He'll find me, until then I don't really care what happens. I'd rather sleep through it, but for some fucking reason, I wake every fucking morning."
Not even. Upset, the wrong words fell, you lean against the metal poll and let the coolness calm your fever.
Independence is loneliness, but you actually don't mind. It's not that you'll take care of yourself; you don't need care. You're not breakable; there's nothing to break. When they tell you they'll break your heart, you smirk and wonder, "What heart?"
People live their lives with such competence and dedication. You couldn't give a single fuck. You float right through and laugh when shit happens, because what matter is it to you?
Fuck everything. Honestly.

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