Over the hum of the motor, I whisper "Sometimes, I really want to kill myself."
No one else on the boat hears me. The motor is so loud, it drowns out everything else.
The world is just the hum of the motor, ticked back and forth, ringing in my ears.

Usually, I hum along to whatever song is stuck in my head.
Whatever song I know I can get away with singing while no one is looking.
Usually, but not now.
I have a promise to keep.

I won't leave.
It's a promise I intend to keep, anyway. Temptation can fuck itself.
I'll be here.
I will.