See the lightning in your eyes

So I've been thinking.
Thinking, that why the fuck does IT get to dictate my life?
and
Why is it so fixed, that I'm stuck in that same rut
as every
other
person?

I've been thinking, and.
I don't like the way things are.

I don't like feeling like shit everytime someone says they like my shirt.
I don't like wondering if they actually mean it, or if they're just saying it to make fun of me.
I don't like questioning every word that comes out of someone's mouth.
I don't like choking, because I'm crying, but I'm not really crying.

No, I don't like it. I don't like any of it.

I don't like that hollow feeling. The feeling of being empty.
The one that echoes throughout your thoughts, repeating the same words, over and over again...
"Your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault..." 


I no longer wish to identify with this.

So now it's gone.
Poof.

Out of my life.
Out of my thoughts.
Out of my circle.

I disown it.
Alienate it.

It's gonegonegone! and it can't come back.

All right. So that's it, then.